Me & a BAD Boss

Meeting with A Bad Boss

I heard from my friend that there was a vacancy for the accounts in company that she worked as an Accounts executive about three years. Her Accounts manager who worked there about five years had resigned, one of Accounts executives had already given a one month noticed to leave the company so she left alone as the accounts person. And people came in and went out very often in this company she said. I knew that so many times of staff turnover was not a sign of good company but I had no choice. At that time there was business crisis in Singapore so it was very hard to find a job for foreigners like me and I had to work for my family’s living. My new company was such a family type trading company. There was boss, three directors (boss’s two elder brothers and eldest daughter), two purchasers, two accounts executives, one admin staff (boss’s youngest daughter) and one forklift driver who worked in the warehouse.

          Recommendation of my friend, boss appointed me as an Accounts receivable executive with provision three months and there was no noticed for me to leave the company that means either he could terminate me or I could resign immediately. About the salary he agreed to pay me S$1,800 per month which was according to government rule for S-pass at that time. S-pass was the work pass for foreigners who had middle educated level and Singapore government had specified the range of salary for S-pass which was S$1,800 to S$2,500 per month at that time. For me, whatever he said I had to agree and had to say thank you for giving a chance for me other than that I had no choice. Boss asked the Accounts executive who had given a one month noticed to hand over her jobs to me and when I joined this company her notice period left only one week. And I heard from my friend that she was a permanent resident (PR) of Singapore and boss raised her salary from S$2,500 to S$3,000 per month since accounts manager had resigned but she could not cope her add on duties so that she resigned. Normally, foreigners had to take more responsibilities  than Singaporean or PR with less salary in Singapore. Although I could imagine how difficult to work with this kind of boss, I had to accept this challenging job for my family.

 

The First day lecture of a Bad Boss         

It was the first day of working at new company everything was so smooth and boss explained to me about what were my duties. As an Accounts receivable executive my duty was to handle the income of oversea two companies. Every morning I had to check bank transactions from internet, print out all the bank transactions, sales reports which were sent from the oversea branch companies, made two copies and one copy I must put on his table. Another copy was for me and I must tally today bank statement with yesterday sales reports from oversea two companies. He explained to me that the salesmen must bank in every morning all the money which got from yesterday sales and I must monitor to it. And he taught me that doing business was like a war and if I was not alert or clever I would die soon by enemy. People were usually dishonest and I could not trust everybody except him.

          I guessed that his age was about 70 years old and he looked calm and patient. He put a smile on his face and told me that my job duties were very easy and I could get a lot of spare time. So when I had got spare time I needed to help some of my friend’s duties as well he said. And he told me about the Accounts executive who had given one month notice was very lousy even he had given her a chance to promote she could not cope her add on duties so her mind was something wrong, he concluded. I was just listening to his words and at the same time learning his attitude to employee. After that he asked my friend to introduce all his employees with me.

Relationship with Weird Boyfriend

We both were from Myanmar (Burma). We've known each other for over two decades and he was my childhood class-mate as well. Not only we've known each other but also both families have known very well because his great grandmother and my great grandmother were best friends. Moreover, his father was an adoptive son of my grandfather and his parents love and respect to my grandfather so much. Both parents eagerly wanted us to marry so our relationship began so-called arrangement by parents. Although we've known each other we've not seen each other for so long because he moved from Myanmar to Australia since we were fourteen years old.

          I heard from his mother that although he hasn't finished his degree he works so hard at work, he doesn't want to marry, he has a very few friends, he never travel to outside Australia, he hasn't even had hand phone, he likes beer and smoking. I thought that sound strange because he was very clever and sociable when he was young. First, he didn't make a phone call to me until his mother forced him to call to me. He wrote in his first email to me that "I'm still cheeky, silly & still idealistic.  It was great to have a chat with you the other day. You sounded very different to what I remembered of you back when we were kids.  You sounded very mature &... I must say...umm...very nice.  But then again, we are not kids anymore, eh?  Oh, how I wish I was still 12 or 13...a lot of memories... I still remember to this day...oh well, time flies! By the way, I've just found out that you've still kept your old nick-name ... Chit Su ..."

          To make online chatting with him I created the gmail account for him and asked him to use this account. Then I got the email from him by using gmail that "hey...just saying hello...I hate google, by the way...it's not very user-friendly" see, how strange so I replied to him that "I don't know about you hate google but by using it we can chat online and thanks for using it even you hate it."

          I sent my photos to his email and asked him to send me his photos as well. First, he only sent to me a group photo with his colleagues taking under the sunshine and everybody wore the sun glass except him. So I got one idea and I added a sun glass to his face with “Photoshop” and sent back to him. When he saw it, he was so happy and replied to me that " YOU HAVE A REAL TALENT WITH ART... & IMAGINATION, INNOVATION ... & VERY FUNNY! .. SUN GLASSES ... YOU'RE INCREDIBLE! I DID'NT KNOW ACCOUNTANTS CAN HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR! and I'm the opposite ... my favourite subject is logic, physics & maths ... the way I see it ... i have no imaginations at all ... all I see are patterns ... logic (not that it applies at work) ... & routine." Moreover, he admitted that he liked me seriously because I could make him smile and he didn't make a smile for so long. When he saw my photos the smile of mine could make him peace.

           He sent to me his photo by email and reminded me that be prepared to be scared. And he wrote that "Have you seen my ugly photos, Chit Su?  Or maybe you're too busy being chased by all those pretty boys in Singapore.” When I saw his photo I felt that he was not ugly but too skinny and needed to change his clothing style. So I suggested him to reduce smoking, drinking beer and to eat regularly. When we chatted I asked him to change his clothing style, then he said "I don't think I need to change anything about myself to fit into anyone's mould". So I wrote to him that "Are you happy in your present lift style? I don't mean to change for me, I asked you to change for you to enjoy your life", then he replied me that "take me as I'm". "I need to know everything about you ... so that I can decide whether I can take you or not" I replied him back.

          He said that he had a complex character... he worked hard and he was extremely serious at work but when he got home he wanted peace, quiet & UNDERSTANDING. At work, he fought hard & it was like going to war every single bloody day but when he got home, he wanted to be a kid again; he wanted to be innocent again. And he asked me what kind of man I was looking for? I answered to him that I was looking for a kind and understanding man because I also had the complex character like you; normally I was a cool and calm person but sometimes I was sensitive I could get temper easily & used the words that hurt you ... how? So he answered me that "everything will be negotiable with me ... you, cheeky girl because a relationship in our times is about equal partnership ... if one of those partners is not happy about anything ... they should let his/her feelings known otherwise it could create a lot of problems down the track for both parties in the relationship".

          I realized through his words that he got depression and lost his confidence because most of the time he said he was a drunk, he liked smoking, he had ugly face and when I saw his photo I would get disappointment. I'm interested in him because I like to stay the side of weak people and I don't like the people who are so proud. The main thing that I like him was he told me the truth and never covered his bad habits and weaknesses that mean he was honest. And I felt that he really appreciated our relationship. On the other hand, he said that he could concentrate in only one thing, he had problems to show his emotion, he too stuck on his way and I would be difficult to change his bad habits. He also asked me to promise "not to change each other" and took him as he was. I thought that he was very demanding and didn't understand that what kind of man he was. I believed that nobody is perfect and I really wanted him to be happy but he made me so confusing about whether or not I could rely on him as a husband or not.

          At that time I worked in Singapore and my parents visited to my uncle who lived in Australia. So, I tried to applied visit visa to Australia to go and meet with my parents, my relatives and him. Unfortunately, I didn't get the visa and we had no chance to meet each other personally. Then, he promised me that he would come to Singapore and met me in coming December holiday. About September, I sent email to him to prepare to come to Singapore because he didn’t have passport and even lost his citizenship certificate so he needed more time to prepare. He didn’t reply my email so I made phone call to him then he said he couldn’t come in December. I hated that he broke his promise so I didn’t make a contact to him about one month and he also. Then, my mother asked me to call his mother to say thank you for receiving presents from his mother. When I called to his mother she said that her son didn’t eat and sleep because of me and asked me to make a phone call to him.

          I made a phone call to him about Australia time 10pm, his sound liked so sleepy and didn’t want to answer my call and he said he wanted to sleep. I was so angry because we didn’t get any contact for one month why he didn’t want to answer my call and neglected me. So I yelled at him that not to sleep and talked to him about I hated the way he treated to me. Although I yelled at him he just listened to me and didn’t talk back to me. After talking to him a lot, he started to ask me with very low voice to give him a promise that I never left him no matter what, at least he liked to be my best friend forever even I couldn't accept him as a partner. Then, I realized that he didn’t mean to neglect me and extremely scared that I would disappoint with him and leave him after we met physically. And, he said I always speak as my mind and he liked that. I felt so sorry to yell at him and made him sad without knowing his feeling and he didn't yell me back. At that day, I could say that I fell in love with him and we began to make video chatting in gmail and discussed about so many topics. So, let guess how the man who has difficulties to show his emotion could propose to me? The answer is so simple I start to tell him that I miss him when I don't see him online then he say me that he loves me and miss me too.
          So if you want to smooth your relationship try how to understand and give up to your partner first instead of hoping too much from your partner take care you. Nobody is perfect but if you can understand your partner's weakness and the strength of your partner can be complement to your weakness then I believe that you can hope for the successful relationship. Good luck and see you in my next post...